Strength in numbers

by maximusaurus

One thing I get asked a lot is what advice I would give to young autistics, or parents of autistic children. Thinking back to what helped me the most in my journey, perhaps my foremost advice is this; get in touch with the autistic community.

When I was diagnosed at the age of 19, I couldn’t think of any other autistics that I could turn to for help or advice. I felt overwhelmingly isolated and alone, and this is a feeling I have heard echoed by countless other autistics recounting the early years of their post-diagnosis life.

Long before I was diagnosed, I had noticed this indescribable sense of difference between myself and my peers, but I could never quite figure out what it was that set me apart. I felt as if I was some alien life form placed on earth among humans, able to exist within their society with difficulty, yet separated from them by a gulf as wide as an ocean and as deep as that chasm where Gandalf fights the Balrog.

It wasn’t until my mid-20s (and by writing this blog) that I connected with the autistic community and for the first time, got in touch with numerous others who were like me. That feeling of no longer being the odd one out, of being able to easily relate to others, of belonging, was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. Suddenly, that suffocating isolation lifted like a morning fog burned away by a radiant summer sun.

Beyond my own firsthand experience, I’ve seen the same thing happen countless times in my work as a mentor; groups of young autistics brought together in support groups and school programs forging close friendships and gaining a newfound sense of community and self-acceptance from connecting with others with whom they have a shared neurology and lived experience. It’s really quite magical.

If you or someone close to you is newly diagnosed, I cannot recommend enough the value of connecting with other autistics, and thanks to the internet and the rise of autistic peer mentoring programs in recent years, the community has never been more available.

Newcomers are welcome in our global and growing family. And just as a multitude of water molecules working in unison can carve through solid rock, enough people coming together can change the world.