Sparkling Autism

by maximusaurus

For most of my life, my autism was something I instinctively tried to suppress and conceal. When I was very young, it flowed freely; the exuberant energy and focused passions it bestowed on me a were seen as, to an extent, acceptable for a small child.

As I grew older, it became progressively more frowned upon. In my teens I learned to mask and do my best to pass as neurotypical to try to mitigate the withering onslaught of bullying.

Even upon reaching adulthood, finally gaining a diagnosis, and reaching the somewhat less brutal environment of university, the instinct to suppress my autism was still deeply ingrained. It wasn’t until I discovered the field of advocacy in my mid-twenties that my journey towards accepting my autistic self began in earnest.

But even as I broached my thirties, having learned to appreciate the strengths and benefits it gave me, it was still something I was reflexively reluctant to give free rein too, fearing it would be met with disapproval and ridicule outside my circle of fellow autistics.

Then, a few months ago, I met someone. Someone truly amazing.

When I infodump about my passions, she smiles with the warmth of a gentle sunrise, and says my autistic excitement makes me “sparkle” and that she loves that about me.

Every time she says it, my heart sings in a thousand colours, and that fear of judgment and rejection I’ve carried for most of my life is drowned out in a sea of joy.

To be accepted, completely and unconditionally, it one of the most magical things I have ever experienced.

If you ever find yourself wondering how you can support autistic people, this is how.